Protocol
Change the request when the situation changes
Politeness is not a longer sentence with please attached.
When it fits
- One polite phrase has become your answer to every social situation.
When to avoid it
- Urgent safety instructions should not become indirect riddles. More mitigation is not always more respectful.
Why it matters
Practise the same request under different relationships, urgency and effort for the listener. Keep the desired action clear while adjusting the wording and explanation. Request strategies differ across communities; learn local usage instead of assuming one universal ladder of formality.
Steps
- Write a routine request to a familiar colleague.
- Rewrite it for a substantial favour from someone you barely know.
- Compare both with authentic examples or a knowledgeable speaker’s feedback.
An example
Send the file, please becomes Could you send the final version today? For an extra review, you add why it matters and acknowledge that the person may not have capacity.
Check your result
Can the listener identify the action, timing and room to decline where appropriate?
Keep this limit in mind
- Urgent safety instructions should not become indirect riddles. More mitigation is not always more respectful.
Connected ideas
Useful withGive each speaker information the other needs
Evidence and sources
The CARLA resource distinguishes request strategies and modifications rather than treating all requests as a single fixed sentence.
Context-sensitive choices are not a universal politeness ranking.
Requests: Strategy descriptions and teaching tips · Strategy descriptions and modifications.