Collection
Handle a work conflict as a problem to resolve, not a verdict to win
Prepare difficult conversations around facts, impact, desired change, two-way understanding, explicit agreements, follow-up and safe escalation when informal repair is not appropriate.
10 elements · Explore in any order.
4 concepts · 1 heuristic · 3 protocols · 1 question · 1 template
10 elements
Choose the conflict route before choosing the words
The safest conversation can start with a routing decision.
Read the idea TemplatePrepare the facts, impact and desired change before the meeting
Prepare what happened and what should change before rehearsing the argument.
Read the idea ProtocolLet the other account exist before you rebut it
Understanding an account is not the same as accepting it.
Read the idea ConceptSplit the conflict into shared facts, disputed facts and interpretations
A conflict gets smaller when different kinds of disagreement stop pretending to be one thing.
Read the idea QuestionAsk for the future condition both sides could live with
Past accountability and future coordination are different questions.
Read the idea ProtocolTurn a verbal resolution into person, action and date
A vague truce is easy to remember differently.
Read the idea ConceptUse mediation when the relationship needs a neutral process, not another referee
A mediator owns the process, not the verdict.
Read the idea HeuristicName the unresolved point instead of forcing agreement
A precise unresolved point is better than a fake consensus.
Read the idea ProtocolFollow up on whether the problem changed, not whether the meeting happened
The meeting is an intervention; the outcome is what happens afterward.
Read the idea ConceptEscalate the process when informal repair keeps failing
Persistence is not always solved by having the same conversation more carefully.
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