Principle

Separate the observation from the story about the person

The observation is shareable evidence; the motive is usually a hypothesis.

When it fits

  • A behavior triggered a strong interpretation of motive or character.

When to avoid it

  • Direct observation can still be incomplete; invite relevant context before deciding what the event means.

Why it matters

State the concrete event before any interpretation: what was said, sent, changed or missed. If the meaning is uncertain, ask what happened instead of announcing why they did it. This makes correction easier because both people can inspect the same episode.

An example

'The risk was not mentioned in the handoff' is inspectable; 'you do not care about quality' is a story.

Check your result

Observation and inference are written as separate statements.

Keep this limit in mind

  • Direct observation can still be incomplete; invite relevant context before deciding what the event means.

Connected ideas

Use before
Name the work impact without inflating it

Evidence and sources

Supports

Feedback research distinguishes task, process, self-regulation and self-focused feedback, with task/process information generally more directly useful for changing performance than praise or trait-level comments.

Most evidence in this source is educational and effects vary by task complexity and design.

The Power of Feedback Revisited: A Meta-Analysis of Educational Feedback Research · Feedback levels and effectiveness discussion

Supports

Feedback interventions appear more useful when they direct attention toward the task and possible improvement rather than threatening self-esteem or shifting attention to the person.

This is a mechanism-level pattern, not a guarantee that neutral wording will prevent defensiveness.

Effect of face-to-face verbal feedback on workplace task performance of health professionals · Discussion of Feedback Intervention Theory moderators

All sources (2)